


Extras from Cloud's Travels

by misminor



Series: Cloud's Travels [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Crack, F/M, Female Cloud Strife, Gen, Genderbending, Time Loop, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-02-04 08:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1771828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misminor/pseuds/misminor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the title says, this is a collection of drabbles/one-shots from the "In Which Cloud Travels…" universe. A collection of what-could-have-been-in-the-story-but-didn't-quite -make-it, and snippets of past lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting the Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gen and Ang meet the parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII
> 
> Un-Beta'd

When the three SOLDIER Firsts walked into the ShinRa lobby, they hadn't expected to see a suspiciously dressed man wheel a young woman in their direction.

And Genesis and Angeal certainly didn't expect the General to rush over to the woman, bend down and peck her cheek, either.

Sephiroth called his two Commanders over and introduced them to the two strangers, one of whom, to the Commanders' ashtonishment, the General called " _mother,"_ of all things. She looked to be in her late twenties at most! They had originally thought her to be an unknown lover, but not the man's _mother._

The woman, "Lucrecia," she called herself, was rather pleasant. When they looked between her and Sephiroth, they could see the faint resemblance. She thanked them for keeping her boy company, and for "taking care of him." She then introduced the silent man behind her.

He was called "Vincent" and was apparently Sephiroth's father. Looking past his young visage, the two Commanders could definitely see the resemblance, especially with the man's silent demeanor.

The two Firsts were contemplating the other two's strangely young appearance when suddenly, the conversation turned on Sephiroth when Lucrecia mentioned a woman named "Cloud," who had apparently caught the General's attention. Surprised, Angeal and Genesis listened. They had never heard such a thing and had been fairly certain the General was asexual.

They were surprised to find out that the woman had bested Sephiroth in combat several times. And had thrown him into a vat of mako when the General "threw a tantrum." The two figured this had happened during childhood, for the man was too composed to have thrown a fit at his age. Genesis couldn't get the image of the General throwing a tantrum out of his head, and had to muffle his laughter to hear the rest of the one-sided conversation-turned-lecture, as Lucrecia had begun to go on about how her son was going about his "courtship" the wrong way.

The two then found out that Sephiroth, to Angeal's astonishment and Genesis' amusement, had made a hobby of stalking the woman and "trolling on her" whenever he had the chance.

And then the two thought of the times when the Turks had reportedly started to tail the General on his missions, nearly always bringing the man back with his clothes slashed and dripping of mako. The two had begun to wonder why the General had been taking longer than usual to complete his missions. Apparently this Cloud woman was the cause of it all.

Genesis then decided that he just _had_ to meet her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so in this one, Lucrecia (yes, she's in a wheelchair here) remembers and Sephiroth has acknowledged her as his mother. Vincent is here, taking up his duty as her bodyguard again. The two have had their past lives to get over everything, so now they're back together again.
> 
> Lucy's in a wheelchair because she's gotten out of the mako crystal and just recovered from mako poisoning/addiction from all the time she spent trapped in mako. She can't use her legs yet since her body's been immobile for years, so she's in a wheelchair.


	2. Meeting Cloud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sephiroth likes feisty girls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII
> 
> Warning: Fem!Cloud; OOCness; Genesis isn't spouting LOVELESS
> 
> Un-Beta'd

When Angeal and Genesis arrived at the lobby, they were greeted with the sight of their esteemed General having an intense stare-off with a young, blond woman. Zack was in the background, frantically trying to defuse whatever was happening.

Eventually, Zack gave up and turned to the two Firsts.

"Oh, hey guys," Zack greeted in an uncharacteristically tired voice.

"What's going on?" Angeal questioned.

Genesis tried to catch Sephiroth's and the woman's attention in vain.

"Nothing new," Zack reported. "The usual."

How the puppy viewed the situation as "the usual," Genesis had no idea, but the puppy seemed to know what was happening so the red Commander asked him who the woman was.

"Oh, that's Spikey!" Zack said enthusiastically. "She's my sister!"

"I see no resemblance aside from the impossibly spikey hair," Genesis said flatly.

"Zack," grounded out a female voice. All three heads turned to see it was "Spikey" talking. "I thought you said this _bastard_ was out on a mission."

"Did you miss me, Cloud?" Sephiroth _taunted_ , to the Commanders' astonishment. Where had the stoic SOLDIER General gone?

The woman forgot about Zack and the two soon were lost in their own little world, with the woman biting out insults and Sephiroth goading her.

Zack sighed at the scene. Angeal and Genesis on the other hand, were trying to wrap their minds around the fact that _Sephiroth_ was actually teasing and deliberately trying to provoke someone.

Really, imagine their surprise when they heard that the General had gone out of his way to kill off her grooms. Then, like someone had replaced the General with an imposter, Sephiroth said that they, the men he had killed, had no business touching what was his.

Of course, this led to another argument, shortly followed with Genesis' passing comment of how the two bickered like a married couple.

Sephiroth had a strangely satisfied expression at this comment. Cloud on the other hand, turned to the red Commander and seethed. "I'm _not_ that troll's wife!"

Genesis was taken aback. No female had ever snapped at him before.

Cloud took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. She turned to Zack, thrusted a parcel in his hand, and told him to hand it to Rufus. She excused herself from the three SOLDIERs. When she turned to leave, Sephiroth blocked her way.

"Where's my goodbye kiss?" The man had the gall to lean into her. She glared at him, brushed him off, and left.

Oh, how she wanted to slap him. Or better yet, throw him in a reactor.

It took all of her will to refrain from turning around and doing just that.

Now, if only that horrible flush would leave her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I think we all now have an idea of how much I suck at writing even snippets of romance.
> 
> Oh Cloud, you Tsundere, you!


	3. PHS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Genesis and Angeal are nosy, bored SOLDIERS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy
> 
> Warnings: mentions of Fem!Cloud; OOCness
> 
> Un-Beta'd

It was a boring day. There were no missions, no battles, no terrorist attacks to stop or investigate, and (surprisingly) no paperwork to fill out, either. Heck, they couldn't even train! After their last sparring session, the three SOLDIER Firsts had demolished their regular training room.

After that, Lazard had forbidden them from using the other holo-rooms. The man wanted to prevent them from rendering the other rooms useless.

As if that wasn't enough, the man had confiscated Genesis' LOVELESS book, Angeal's puppy, and Sephiroth's picture album (though whatever it held, the Commanders had no clue) as punishment.

Genesis was, as expected, furious, and had argued and protested heatedly but ended up resentfully handing over the book. Angeal had been rather resigned, apologizing to Zack as their mentorship was temporarily suspended. Sephiroth, on the other hand, had made the motion of handing over the album, but had refused to let go of it until Lazard lost his patience and snapped.

Strangely, when Lazard had peeked in the album, he just looked at the General and flatly said something about how "she" was going to rip Sephiroth apart if "she" ever found out, making the other two Firsts wonder just what the album contained.

So there they were, bored out of their minds, hanging out in the General's apartment. Genesis was sullenly laying on the sofa, muttering LOVELESS under his breath. Angeal sat across from him on a couch, knee bouncing up and down as he tuned out the words of LOVELESS. The brunet watched Sephiroth fiddle with his PHS.

The General had been doing that a lot lately. At first, the two Commanders had thought nothing of it, but after a few weeks, Angeal and Genesis had finally begun to wonder.

_Knock knock._

The three Firsts became alert. The General opened the door and was greeted with an infantryman. Despite the boy's quiet, timid voice, all three Firsts could clearly hear the message: Hojo had summoned Sephiroth.

And just like that, Angeal and Genesis were left to their own devices.

Suddenly, Genesis sat up, eyes gleaming.

Angeal became wary at the sudden change in his friend's demeanor and noticed the PHS Sephiroth had left behind.

As if reading his mind, Genesis swiped the device from the table, ignoring Angeal's scolding and fiddled with the device.

"Don't you want to know what's got Sephiroth so obsessed?" the red clad man said.

Angeal was reluctant, but he _was_ curious. He sat next to Genesis and watched his friend play with the device.

Not finding anything particularly interesting, Genesis decided to check the General's text messages. Surprisingly, Zack's number had appeared quite a bit, peaking Angeal's curiosity.

_Why was his student texting Sephiroth so many times?_

When they opened Zack's messages, all they saw were little "Hi's," smiley faces, and PHS numbers.

 _A lot_ of PHS numbers.

And the two Firsts wondered just _who_ those numbers belonged to.

So, Genesis decided it would be a good idea to whip out his own PHS and dial the aforementioned numbers, only to end up with "out of service" messages.

So then Genesis decided to look through the General's contacts. There was nothing out of the ordinary there. It only had the numbers of the ShinRa employees along with the President and the Vice President.

The only one that stood out was "Puppet."

The two Firsts wondered who this "Puppet" was, and wracked their brains for an answer. Finally, Genesis gave up and decided to give this "Puppet" a call, disregarding Angeal's half-baked protests, since he knew the honor-bound man was curious as well.

Someone finally picked up, and the two were bewildered to hear a child's voice on the other end.

"Daddy?"

The two were shocked silent.

Over the line, the two could hear a woman's voice, with the child saying, "Daddy called."

There was a pause, and then it sounded like the child had handed over the device.

"Sephiroth," the woman said over the line, "how the _hell_ did you get this number?"

Suddenly, the door opened and in their haste, Genesis hung up and placed the PHS on the table.

Sephiroth had come back.

And then the PHS rang, and Sephiroth made his way over to them and answered the device.

With their mako-enhanced senses, the two Commanders could hear the woman on the other line, saying, "How dare you call and then hang up on me, you troll!"

Sephiroth just raised a brow at his two friends and smoothly answered the woman, _teasing_. "I didn't know you missed me so much, _Cloud_ ," The General purred.

The two Banora natives sat in fascination as their stoic friend goaded the woman on the other line – _flirting_ , if they could call it that – as the unknown woman ("Cloud," was it?) verbally sparred with the General.

Then they heard the childish voice over the line again. _Three_ of them this time, saying that they wanted to "talk to Daddy, too, Mommy."

And then the General turned to his Commanders, seeing their engrossed, curious faces and said to the PHS, "I'll be seeing you soon," ignoring the woman's objections. And then he told his Commanders that they were going to Neibelheim.

Which they didn't object to. It gave them something to do, and they could finally get out of the damned building.

And besides, they were curious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All those PHS numbers that Zack was texting Seph? Yeah, Cloud had kept changing her number since Seph kept finding out. Zack just kept handing them out to Seph without her knowing.
> 
> And yeah, the Remnants here believe Sephiroth is their dad instead of Vincent. As far as they're concerned, Vin is their grandpa.
> 
> And yes, Seph had an album filled with Cloud's pictures. I'll leave the pictures to your imagination :P


	4. Fiend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zack is furious, and Sephiroth is unrepentant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII or the cover
> 
> Warning: Mentions of Fem!Cloud; OOCness
> 
> Un-Beta'd

_Thud, thud, thud_ came furious steps.

The three Firsts warily watched to door as the thunderous stomps grew louder.

_BAM!_

"SEPHIROTH!" yelled a familiar voice.

_BAM!_

"WHERE ARE YOU, YOU BASTARD!"

_BAM!_

The door slammed open to reveal a furious looking Zachary Fair. His crazed eyes zoomed in onto silver hair, his mind only registering his target.

"YOU!" Zack roared. He made to lunge at the bewildered man but was restrained from behind.

"Zack!" Angeal yelled as he struggled to keep his student restrained. Zack was surprisingly stronger than usual. "Calm down! Genesis! A little help here!"

Genesis covered his bewilderment with an eye-roll and gave the misbehaving puppy a firm tap on the head.

"Down, Puppy," said Genesis.

Angeal sighed in relief when Zack froze at the unexpected whack.

Zack stopped struggling and turned to Genesis to complain.

"What was that for?" he whined. "That hurt ya' know!"

Genesis just "hmphed" at him in response.

Angeal finally let go of his student once he extracted a reluctant promise from Zack to refrain from attacking anyone.

"Perhaps you could explain that sudden bout of madness, hm?" Genesis drawled.

"It was perfectly justified!" Zack exclaimed, turning to glare at Sephiroth who only raised a brow.

"Is that so…" Angeal trailed in disbelief.

"Yes, please _enlighten_ us," spoke Sephiroth.

"Don't act as if you don't know!" Zack pointed a furious finger at Sephiroth. "I know what you did to Spikey!"

Genesis and Angeal blinked in incomprehension. They turned to Sephiroth, only to find him staring back at Zack with an unrepentant look.

"Uh…Who?" Angeal finally asked.

"My sister!" Zack cried. "I know what you did to her! YOU _FIEND_!"

" _Fiend?"_ Genesis mouthed to himself, incredulous. _Since when did Zack use words like that?_

"Now, now," Angeal said, trying to calm his student. "Let's not get ahead of oursel– "

"HOW DARE YOU KNOCK UP MY SISTER!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically how Sephiroth found out Cloud was preggers in that one life.


	5. Drinks and Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a reluctant Sephiroth is dragged into a bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII
> 
> Warnings: Mentions of Fem!Cloud; AU; Chibi!Remnants; very light mentions of alcohol; possible OOCness
> 
> Un-Beta'd

Genesis and Angeal walked into Sephiroth's office and found the General doing paperwork.

"Are you still at it?" Genesis questioned with a raised brow. "You've been at this for days."

"You need a break." Angeal frowned.

"I am almost done," Sephiroth said, not looking up from his work. There were only a few papers left.

Genesis frowned, but conceded. After all, the workaholic _was_ almost finished. And soon enough, Sephiroth had completed the last bit.

"Finally!" Genesis said impatiently. "We're going out!" And with that, the Commander whirled around and left the office.

With a raised brow, Sephiroth followed Angeal as they walked after their friend. Before he knew it, Sephiroth found himself standing in front of a bar. A very familiar bar.

"...What is this about?" Sephiroth questioned, barely hiding his apprehension at the sight of the bar.

"We need a break," Angeal offered.

"And you, my friend," Genesis said, clasping Sephiroth's shoulder, "need a social life."

Angeal nodded. "Yes, and who knows, maybe you'll make a new friend."

"Or meet the love of your life," Genesis added jokingly.

"I don't think this is a good idea..." Sephiroth said slowly, eyeing the building.

Genesis rolled his eyes and with Angeal's help, practically manhandled the General into entering the bar. "Loosen up, Sephiroth."

_Ding!_

A cheery voice greeted them. "Welcome to Seventh Heaven!"

"Woah, Seph?"

The three Firsts turned to see a red-headed Turk looking at them - or rather, Sephiroth - with a bewildered look.

"What'cha doin' _here_?" The Turk eyed Sephiroth as if he was crazy.

Genesis bristled. "We can go wherever we want, Turk."

The Turk raised his hands up in surrender. "Hey, I didn' mean it like that, yo." He gave Sephiroth a look. "You know she's gonna be here, right?"

Sephiroth nodded solemly.

"Yeah...good luck with that, yo." The Turk then left, but not before sending Sephiroth a pitying look, leaving two confused SOLDIERs.

"Okay, what was that about?" Genesis asked, but before he could get an answer, a waitress came to greet them.

"Hello, wh- Sephiroth?!" The waitress looked at the man in surprise.

"Tifa," the General acknowledged.

"You sure you want to be here?" The woman asked. She got a silent nod. She sighed and shook her head. "Okay then. Let's move you guys to the back." Sephiroth moved to follow her. Angeal and Genesis shared a confused look before following their friend. The woman led them through a door to another room. It was a private lounge. She led them to a seat and asked, "So, what can I get you guys?"

They gave their orders and the woman left.

"Seriously," Genesis pinned his silver friend with a look. "What the hell was that about? No one ever gets into the Lounge. How did you get us in?"

Sephiroth gave his friends a severe look. "Someone I... know will not be pleased when they see me."

Angeal frowned. "An enemy?" They had gained several enemies outside of ShinRa in Midgar just from their participation in the Wutai War. Was it AVALANCHE?

Sephiroth shook his head and refused to say anything more. Soon, the waitress arrived with their drinks and a dish of finger food.

"Just thought you should know," the woman said, "the kids were dropped off earlier and they just woke up. They might come down." With her serious voice and Sephiroth's solemn face, Angeal and Genesis thought she was speaking in code. "Heads up though, Cloud will be coming in an hour or so. If you guys get into a fight here, you're paying for the repairs." And with that, she left to attend to the other customers.

"What was that?" Angeal asked.

"I have an hour before I have to leave," Sephiroth said, swirling his drink before taking a sip.

There was obviously more to it, but the two gave up trying to understand and followed his example.

Genesis felt eyes staring at them and discretely nudged his companions. They followed the feeling to meet a pair of large, bright green eyes peaking at them from the top of the building's stairs. After a few moments of eye contact, the small figure disappeared up the stairs before arriving back to its previous position with two other small figures.

At the corner of his eye, Genesis thought he saw Sephiroth smile slightly.

The three figures ran down the stairs to reveal three small children.

Three, silver-haired, green-eyed children.

They ran up to them and hugged Sephiroth's leather boots. "Daddy, you're here!" They chorused.

Angeal and Genesis pinned their friend with a long stare, mentally asking for an expanation. They were ignored in favor of setting the kids on his lap. Somehow, he managed to fit all three.

"Introduce yourselves," Sephiroth told his children.

The kids stopped wriggling and straightened up and looked at the other two men.

"Hello," the long-haired one greeted seriously. "I am Yazoo."

Genesis could hardly hide his horror at the mini version of his friend.

"I'm Loz," the spikey haired one said, looking at them curiously.

The smallest one blinked at them sleepily, rubbing his eyes. "Kadaj," he yawned.

The two Commanders stared.

"So..." Genesis looked at Sephiroth, hard. "Mind explaining?"

"These are my sons," Sephiroth said simply. Genesis looked like he was about to break out into a rant.

Angeal was still staring at the children.

The door behind them opened. Startled, they looked to the door. It was Zack and a female companion.

"Uncle Zack!" The kids greeted cheerily. "Auntie Aerith!" The kids jumped off their father's lap, off the couch, and ran to the two new people.

"Hey little guys!" The teen chirped, picking the spikey-haired one up and placing him on his shoulders. "Finally woke up, huh?" Zack must have felt eyes one him because when he looked up from the children, he saw the three Firsts staring at him. "Oh, hey guys!"

"Hello Sephiroth," smiled Zack's companion.

"Aerith," he greeted back.

"Oh!" Zack exclaimed, remembering something. "You guys haven't met before, huh? This is my girlfriend, Aerith," he introduced. "Aerith, this is Genesis and my mentor, Angeal."

Aerith smiled and waved at the men. "Hello. Zack has told me about you guys."

"A pleasure," Genesis demurred.

"Nice to meet you," Angeal said.

"Aww." Aerith crouched down to pick up the sleepy child. "Did you just wake up Kadaj?" The boy nodded, rubbing his eyes. "Did we interrupt your nap?" He shook his head.

"Yazoo woke me," he reported. "He saw Daddy and went to get us."

"Good job, little man!" Zack high-fived Yazoo.

Angeal stared at how familiar his student was with Sephiroth's newly-discovered children. It was almost as if Zack had known about them... For a long time.

Angeal cleared his throat. "Zack," he started, "how exactly... do you know these children?"

Before Zack could answer, a childish voice interrupted. "That's 'cause-"

"Because," Sephiroth corrected.

"- because he's our uncle, silly."

Angeal couldn't tell which one of them answered because all the children were looking at him as if it was obvious.

Genesis seemed a bit offended that Zack, of all people, was the children's uncle figure.

"Ah!" Zack waved his hands. "They're my sister's kids," Zack quickly explained. And like a charm, Genesis deflated back to normal at the news.

Genesis crossed his arms. The drinks were long forgotten at this point. "You hooked Sephiroth up with your sister?"

Zack and his girlfriend were momentarily taken aback by the guess before breaking into laughter. Genesis and Angeal frowned at the reaction.

"Oh my god that's so funny!" Zack laughed. He turned to his girlfriend. "Can you imagine? _Me?_ Hooking them up? Hahahaha!"

Aerith giggled. "Oh no," she told them. "If anything, Sephiroth was the one who 'hooked' himself up."

The two Commanders looked at their silver friend in disbelief. They were ignored in favor of the remaining child who wanted to be held like the rest of his brothers. Sephiroth placed the boy on his shoulders.

"Oh," Zack broke out of his fit. "By the way, I'm sure you've heard, but Spikey's coming soon to pick up the kids."

"Mommy's coming?" Loz perked up from his seat on his uncle's shoulders.

Genesis and Angeal perked up as well.

"Oh really?" Genesis drawled and glanced at Angeal. "Well I don't know about you, 'Geal, but _I,_ for one, want to meet the mother of our friend's children."

"I agree." Angeal nodded. "I, too, would like to meet the woman who captured our dear General's attention," he said teasingly.

Sephiroth looked at his children, then back to the drinks on the table with dread as he felt Cloud's presence enter the establishment. Unfortunately for him, Yazoo followed his line of sight, and from his place on Sephiroth's shoulders, sang with wide eyes, "Oohh… Daddy's in trouble~"

Zack cackled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, long time no update, huh? Don't worry, it's still me, Psychotic Luv. I just ended up changing my pen name to match my new Tumblr account. I'll be posting my fics there too, along with news on what's going on. As a matter of fact, I've got a question posted up on Tumblr that I'd like for you guys to answer for me.
> 
> You guys can follow me on Tumblr at misminor. tumblr . com
> 
> I am also accepting prompts on tumblr :) Just go to my Submissions page and send me any prompts you'd like to give me.
> 
> Oh, and, for those of you who came from FF.net, I moved the original ch5 to it's own little section.


	6. Lightning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sephiroth misses Cloud, visits her, and completely misunderstands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII or Final Fantasy XIII
> 
> Warning: slight crossover between FFVII and FFXIII; fem!Cloud; jealous!Sephiroth; Baby!Lightning; OOCness; AU; playing around with Reno's accent
> 
> Un-Beta'd
> 
> * * *
> 
> _Prompt: Thunder and Lightning_  
> 
> 
> * * *

Sephiroth frowned. He hadn't encountered his little puppet for a while now. He knew she had been avoiding him (as she had taken to for the past few lives now), but even so, he would have run into her at some point. But alas, he had not seen his little puppet for nearly a year now.

In his boredom, he had taken to making casual rounds at her nearby, usual haunts whenever he had the time – be it during a mission, or during his coffee break. He paid little heed to the screeching earful he would receive from Hojo about the amount of time his missions now frequently took, and the pointed looks he would receive from the Director for his extended, frequent breaks he would take.

Sephiroth didn't care about what they thought, but Zack and the Turks would give him that irritating, knowing look. It was especially annoying when Zack and some passing Turk would send him a pitying look after a rather destructive mission.

After a few close calls involving the outer edge of Midgard, and Sephiroth's near obliteration of the Train Graveyard, he was sent on a mission to Neibelheim.

If he had known that nearly destroying the Turks' Playground would fetch such lovely results, he would have cast Meteor on it a long time ago.

As fate would have it, aside from that red-headed Turk that was accompanying him, Sephiroth was flying in solo. Apparently, given his recent destructive habits, Sephiroth himself was more than enough needed for a simple reactor inspection.

"Dun' worry 'bout the reactor Seph," the Turk said as he drove the helicopter. "Ya' know this mission is complete BS, right?"

"Of course," Sephiroth hummed.

"This is practically paid vacation fer da' both of us," the Turk grinned. "You get ta see Cloudy, an' I get ta see my girl."

They couldn't have arrived at Neibelheim sooner. Sephiroth didn't even wait for the helicopter to land. By the time he had reached the Strife household, the helicopter was still in the air.

As he stood in front of the door, Sephiroth pondered over whether or not he should knock politely or simply open the door. In the end, he opted to knock. After all, it wouldn't do to antagonize his little puppet this early in the morning. She'd throw him into the reactor before he'd get a word in.

A mess of blonde hair greeted him as the door opened.

"Sephiroth?!" His puppet looked bewildered to see him. "What are you doing here?" she asked, as he entered her home. "You know what? Forget it. Just don't make too much noise." She gave him a pointed look and said, "Stay here."

He raised a brow, but complied, as he watched her hurriedly whirl around to go into her bedroom. Soon enough, she came back, but with a wrapped bundle in her arms. He froze at the sight of the infant she held so delicately.

It had tufts of reddish-blond hair and blue eyes.

"Here, hold Lightning for me, will you?" And before he could say something, the child was in his arms, and Cloud was rummaging through her kitchen.

Sephiroth could not take his eyes off of the child. He didn't know how long he stood there, staring at the infant, but it was long enough for the Turk to make an appearance.

"I _knew_ ya'd be here," said the Turk as he sauntered in like he owned the place. "Hm? Watcha' got there, Seph? Oh, hey Cloudy!"

Sephiroth broke out of his daze to see his puppet holding a bottle of milk for the baby. She murmured him a quiet "thanks," before taking the child and giving her the bottle.

Sephiroth stared at Cloud. He stared at the baby ("Lightning," was it?). He stared at Reno. And stared at the baby again.

Wordlessly, Sephiroth dragged Reno outside the house.

And viciously attacked him.

* * *

Inside, Cloud could hear the chaos outside. Frankly, she didn't care what Reno did this time. She was more focused on calming the startled infant.

"Shh, Lightning," Cloud cooed. "It's okay. It'll all be over once one of them dies."

_BOOM!_

The infant's eyes widened tearfully at the loud noise before breaking out into a wail.

Cloud sighed and moved deep into the house, doing her best to calm the child. "I knew it was too good to be true," she muttered to herself. "Sephiroth just _has_ to cause trouble _all_ the time."

She looked at the baby, and towards the source of the noise happening outside her house.

She hoped her neighbor would come back soon to pick up the baby. Cloud really didn't think she could stand another week of babysitting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Le gasp! Two updates in one day?!
> 
> Yep. That's right. This one's all thanks to a Tumblr prompt :3
> 
> Keep sending those my way, yeah? For those of you who can't be bothered with Tumblr, you guys know ya'll can send me prompts here on FF. net, right? PM me or review :3
> 
> LOL Seph totally misunderstood here XD


	7. Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Angeal and Genesis visit Seph's apartment, only to see a daycare. With no adult in sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII or Kingdom Hearts
> 
> Warnings: FF7/KH crossover; possible OOCness; mentions of Fem!Cloud; Genesis does not quote LOVELESS (for he is too shocked to do so… maybe)
> 
> Un-Beta’d

When Angeal and Genesis had opened the door, they did not expect to see the scene they stumbled upon. Blankly, Angeal closed the door. He turned to Genesis and asked, "Am I the only one who saw that?"

Genesis eyed the door. "I don't know my friend," he said. "Did you see a daycare instead of Sephiroth's apartment?"

"I did," Angeal admitted, "but I was hoping it was a hallucination."

"Maybe we got the wrong address?" Genesis offered, ignoring the fact that they knew the way to their silver-haired friend's apartment better than they did the entire ShinRa HQ.

The two shared a look at the suggestion.

"Right." Genesis shook his head at his previous words. "Maybe Sephiroth moved? But then the lock would have changed, so it can't be that."

"Or," Angeal offered, "maybe we were seeing things."

"Yes," Genesis agreed. "Perhaps we have just yet to recover from the mako shots."

And with that, they opened the door again. Only to see a multitude of children sprawled about on the carpet floor, clutching crayons as they slept soundly next to a mess of papers filled with childish drawings.

The two SOLDIERs closed the door again.

"Sephiroth isn't a pedophile, right?" Angeal wasn't sure which one of them had spoken, but he answered the question with an unsure-sounding "no."

"I don't think he'd be the type to kidnap children, either," Genesis said slowly as they stood in the hall, staring at the apartment door. "And I know for certain that that indeed _was_ Sephiroth's abode..."

They opened the door again. Unfortunately, it seemed as if the children were not mako-induced hallucinations.

It only got all the more confusing when a red-haired child, a few years older than the sleeping ones, sleepily stumbled out of what should have been Sephiroth's room.

The boy jerked back when he finally noticed them, getting into a defensive position (he has good form, Angeal noted). "Who the hell are you?!" the boy yelled, abruptly waking up the sleeping children with his tone of voice.

The newly awoken children quickly distanced themselves from the two SOLDIERs, taking up their own defensive positions.

The two SOLDIERs could hear small footsteps running towards them. And soon enough, there were more children coming from where Sephiroth's bedroom should have been.

Before the two adults could speak, the new arrivals' appearance shocked Angeal and Genesis into silence. There were five - one of them was identical to the red-haired boy - but only four of them caught their attention.

Three of them were about the same age as the other two older boys. The other one was about the same age as the previously sleeping children. That wasn't what shocked the two adults into silence, however. It was the hair. And the eyes.

Shiny, silver hair and green eyes.

"Who the hell are you?!" the red-haired boy demanded again. "And what are you doing here?!"

Angeal held his hands up, trying to calm the startled children. Genesis was still all but gaping at the four silver children.

"I'm Angeal," he said, soothingly. "This is my friend Genesis."

"That still doesn't answer the question as to why you two are here," one of the silver-haired children said, eyes narrowed. If he didn't know any better, Angeal would have thought Sephiroth had shrunk and de-aged. The boy looked uncannily like the General, with his long hair.

Before they could explain themselves, the front door opened.

It was that red-haired Turk.

"DAD!" three of the kids cried. The others looked relieved to see him.

The Turk noticed the two SOLDIERs. "Angeal? Genesis? What'cha doin' _here_?"

"Daddy," a little girl frowned, "they just appeared outta nowhere!"

"Yeah!" one of the red-haired twins said. "If I hadn't come out for a snack, who knows what they'd of done to the others! The kids were all takin' a nap when they came!"

"Hey!" Genesis argued. "We weren't going to do anything! We just came to see Seph! Not this- this _daycare!"_

"Woah, calm down, yo," the Turk said, before turning to the kids. "Good job, Axel. But ya' guys dun' hafta worry 'bout these two," he said, jabbing his thumb in the SOLDIERs' direction. "They're friends with Seph. They ain't gonna hurt you guys."

The kids relaxed at his words, but still looked at the SOLDIERs reproachfully.

Except one that is. Instead, he went up to them, ignoring the youngest silver-haired child's protests. He stared at them for a few seconds before cheerfully introducing himself.

"Hi, I'm Sora!" The child smiled up at them.

"Sora!" the youngest silver child hissed.

"What?" Sora pouted back. "Uncle Reno said they were okay."

"They still broke into Dad's apartment!"

Angeal and Genesis choked.

"Oh, lighten up, Riku," the Turk's daughter said. "Daddy said they're Uncle Seph's friends, right?"

"That doesn't explain how they entered the apartment without one of us opening the door, Kairi!" the newly dubbed 'Riku' argued.

"They probably have a spare key." Sora looked back up at the SOLDIERs. "Right?"

"Indeed..." Genesis replied.

"See?" Sora piped at Sephiroth's supposed son.

"Whelp," the Turk said, making his way back to the door. "I jus' came here ta check up on the kids, but since yer here, I'll leave 'em in yer care. See ya~!"

And before Angeal and Genesis could argue, the Turk had already left.

Sighing, Angeal turned back to the kids. "So, now that the misunderstanding's been cleared up, how about we introduce ourselves?"

"I'm Sora!" the child piped up again. He pointed to a black-haired version of himself and a black-haired girl with blue eyes. "That's my brother Vanitas and my sister Xion!"

The aforementioned kids smiled and waved.

"The name's Axel," one of the red-haired boys said. He put his arm around the other red head. "This is my twin, Lea. And this," he said, placing a hand on the little brunette, "is our little sister, Kairi."

"Make her cry and we'll fry you," Lea said.

"Got it memorized?"

"Oh, stop it you guys!" Kairi swatted Axel's hand off of her head, before turning to the two adults. "Don't mind them. It's nice to meet you."

Genesis scoffed. "As if a couple of brats has the ability to 'fry' us."

"Gen," Angeal gently scolded. "Play nice." He turned back to the kids and smiled. "Nice to meet you too."

"I am Yazoo," one of the older silver-haired children said. He had the longest hair out of the Sephiroth-look-a-likes, who the SOLDIERs suspected were his brothers, if they were going by the same pattern as the previous children.

"I'm Loz," the one with short, spikey silver hair said.

"I'm Kadaj," the other one said. "We're triplets."

Yazoo nodded. "Theses are our younger brothers: Riku," he gestured to the pouting boy with short silver hair, "Roxas, and Ventus," he gestured to two identical boys with spikey, blond hair who waved at them as they were introduced.

"And this," Kadaj said, "is our baby sister, Naminé." The girl shyly smiled and waved at them.

"I don't know about you," Genesis wryly murmured to Angeal, "but I'm getting the feeling that their mother is blond."

"Nice you meet you all," Angeal said again, trying to hide his bewilderment.

When Sephiroth returned, Angeal and Genesis were going to give him a stern talking to. How could he hide this from his best friends?

Sora looked up at Angeal with wide eyes. "You're Daddy's teacher, right?"

Genesis and Angeal choked.

"Daddy talks about you a lot!"

 _And Zack too,_ Angeal thought. _Zack will be receiving an earful._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this in my OneDrive for a while now. It was supposed to be for Father's day, but, meh. Whatever.
> 
> .
> 
> Dad/Mom = kids (in order of birth/age)
> 
> Seph/Cloud = Loz & Yazoo & Kadaj; Riku; Ventus & Roxas; Naminé
> 
> Zack/Aerith = Vanitas & Sora; Xion
> 
> Reno/Tifa = Lea & Axel; Kairi
> 
> .
> 
> The fact that the girls are the youngest out of their siblings, is actually a pure coincidence. I really didn't notice until I typed out that list. The "&" denotes that they were born as a set (triplets or twins).


	8. Sibling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kadaj is Sephiroth's annoying little brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII or Advent Children.
> 
> Warning: Possible OOCness; Teen!Kadaj; mentions of Fem!Cloud
> 
> UnBeta’d

Angeal and Genesis stared at the strange sight before them: A silver-haired teen was lazily lounging upon a sofa - which they were sure was never there before - in Director Lazard’s office, playing with a small package as he nonchalantly leafed through a ShinRa magazine. Oh, he stopped. The boy’s head dropped down and- wait.

_Is he-… Did he just…?_

“Did he really just…?” Angeal’s brain could not compute.

“He fell asleep!” Genesis stared with incredulity. “In the Director’s office! Why isn’t Lazard doing anything? Why isn’t he _saying_ anything?!”

_Clack._

“Did you two need something?” Lazard sighed as he dropped his pen in favor of dealing with his dumbfounded Firsts.

“Who the hell is that?!” Genesis rudely pointed to the sleeping teen. “And why the hell does he look like Sephiroth?”

“Gen…” Angeal softly rebuked his friend’s rudeness out of habit.

Lazard massaged his temple. It was way too early to be dealing with this. “That,” Lazard began, “is-”

_SLAM!_

“Hey, Lazard!” Zack began loudly as he burst into the room. Lazard went back to massaging his head. “Have you seen- Oh.” The puppy blinked at the sight before him. “So that’s where he was. Oh, hey ‘Geal, Gen!”

“Zachary,” Sephiroth’s voice neared, “you should know better than to make a racket in the halls.” When the General entered the room, he took in the sight. “Director,” Sephiroth greeted, “Genesis, Angeal.” Then, Sephiroth looked to the sleeping figure and said, “Kadaj.”

"Well, hello Big Brother," drawled an unfamiliar voice. Angeal and Genesis whirled around to face the voice. It was the silver teen, lazily draped upon the sofa as his visible green, cat-like eye peeked through his silver hair from beneath long lashes.

"Hey, Kadaj!" Zack chirped. "I was looking all over for you. You been here this entire time?"

The teen answered with a hum.

"Wait," Genesis interrupted, looking a Zack and pointing to the unknown teen. "You know him?"

Zack nodded cheerily but didn't elaborate despite the two Firsts' expectant gazes.

Finally, Sephiroth broke the silence. "What are you doing here, Kadaj?"

The teen raised a brow as he went to sit up-right from his lounge. "What, I can't visit my big brother?"

"Ah!" Zack interrupted, frantically trying to play peace-maker before a fight broke out. Again. He could practically see the forming sparks flying between the two. "He's just wondering why it's not Spikey here instead, hahaha..."

"Oh?" Kadaj smirked. "Disappointed are we, Big Brother?" Sephiroth glared at the teen.

Angeal and Genesis watched in the background. They'd never seen their friend's feathers ruffled so quickly.

"Unfortunately for you, Big Brother -" Kadaj tossed the small package to Sephiroth - " Big Sis didn't want to see you, so I came instead."

Sephiroth scowled at the teen before opening the package. It was a new PHS.

"Since your last one met it's untimely fate in a reactor," Kadaj said. "Big Sis says to take care of this one. She'd rather not have to see your ugly mug again." A wicked gleam entered the teen's eyes. "If you don't, Big Sis said she'll never acknowledge your existence for five hundred lifetimes."

If possible, Sephiroth's scowl grew into an almost-snarl at the... threat? It made Genesis wonder if the dear General had a _sister-complex._

 

"So you better take care of this one~" Kadaj sang. And with that, the teen left.

"Wow," Zack blinked. He turned to the still seething General. "Five hundred lifetimes, eh? Good luck with that, Seph." Zack gave the seething man a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Well, see ya'! I'm outta here."

And just like that, only the three Firsts and the Director were in the office.

"Um, Seph?" Angeal spoke. "...You might want to lighten up on the grip you've got there."

Indeed, the new PHS seemed to be creaking under the pressure of the man's fist. Finally noticing his vice-like grip, Sephiroth quickly loosened his grip into a gentle hold.

"I'm still confused," Genesis deadpanned. "Could you perhaps explain what that was all about? And I didn't know you had siblings. You never told us!"

Sephiroth looked at his friends' expectant gazes and sighed. "That was my youngest... _brother_ , Kadaj. He's part of a set of triplets."

"Is this... 'Big Sis' he was referring to a part of that set?" Angeal asked.

"No," Sephiroth admitted. "If she was, I'd most likely defect and summon a Meteor - if only so I would not have to deal with it."

"A Meteor?...Is...Is that even possible?"

"Oh, believe me," Sephiroth said. His eyes gleamed with a strange look that they could not place. "I'd find a way."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe… I’m back? Did y'all miss me?
> 
> This one’s actually been in my OneDrive for a while now. I have an alternate ending written up as well. Would you guys like to read it? In all honesty, it’s not that much different from this one. It just has an alternate ending.
> 
> R&R! :D


	9. Rules of Engagement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Riku is a precocious child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII or Kingdom Hearts.
> 
> Warning: Possible OOCness; Hormonal!Preggers!Fem!Cloud; Doting!Sephiroth; Precoccious!Chibi!Riku; Shonen-ai; Mentions of Fem!Sora; Meddling Goddess
> 
> UnBeta’d

“Mother, Father! Please let me marry Sora!”

“Hah?” Cloud stared at her eldest son in bewilderment.

Across the table, Riku sat in front of his parents with a determined look on his face. “I want to marry Sora. Please give me your blessing,” he repeated.

“I don’t particularly mind,” Sephiroth said impassively. Cloud turned to him with a look of pure betrayal.

Riku perked up at his father’s approval. “Thank you, Father!”

“Woah, hold on!” Cloud interrupted. “Riku, do you understand what you’re saying? What brought this on?”

“Of course,” Riku answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Sora keeps making other _friends_ ,” he said, spitting out the word was if it was something vile, and his formerly pleasant expression twisted into a dark look. “It was bad enough that Kairi butted in - and I put up with it - but now all these annoying _pests_ want to take Sora away from me. If Sora becomes my bride, I won’t have to worry about them.”

Cloud was silent throughout his whole tirade while Sephiroth gained an approving and pleased look. Suddenly, in a fit of violence, Cloud turned and grabbed a handful of Sephiroth’s face and slammed his head back hard onto the hardwood floor.

“YOU! IT’S BECAUSE OF YOU, OUR SON TURNED OUT LIKE THIS!”

Calmly getting up to calm the enraged woman, Sephiroth gently took a firm hold on Cloud to prevent her from flailing violently. “Now, now. Be careful. You’re in a delicate state right now.”

“DELICATE MY ASS! THIS IS YOUR FAULT TOO!”

“I believe it takes two people to conceive a child, Puppet.”

Riku watched his parents patiently. One day, he and Sora could be as lovey-dovey as his parents. Recalling Sora’s pouty face, he could see why his father enjoyed his mother’s angry face.

A while later once Cloud had finally calmed down, she and Sephiroth once again sat at the table, drinking tea. “I get that you want to marry Sora so you can stay together, but you don’t have to get married to do that. And aren’t you still too young to be thinking of such things? You’re only five.”

“You mean like you and Father,” Riku asked thoughtfully. “Well, no. That would imply that we’re in a committed relationship of some sort - which we’re not.”

“Oh?” Sephiroth raised a fine brow. “You are carrying my fourth child. I would think the commitment has been long since established.”

Cloud glared at him in response before clearing her expression and turning back to her eldest son. “I meant like AVALANCHE. Tifa, Cid, Yuffie, Aerith and the rest are all still good friends of mine.”

Riku frowned and let out a stubborn, “No. If I don’t Roxas won’t stop butting in even though he already has Axel. Besides, Sora and I already shared our first kiss.”

“Hah?” Cloud stared, dumbfounded, muttering to herself, “My baby already had his first kiss?”

Seeing as Cloud wasn’t going to break out of her trance, Sephiroth took over the interrogation. “And? What does that have anything to do with it?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Since we gave each other our first kiss, we have to get married.”

Cloud’s neck snapped as she jerked to look at her son. “What? Who told you that?!” “Uncle Cid,” Riku replied. “He said we had to marry whoever gets our first kiss. Since we didn’t want to marry some weirdo, we shared our first kiss instead.”

“Cid, that bastard…!” Cloud trembled in her seat before abruptly standing up. “I’ll kill him!”

Before she could leave, Sephiroth snatched her wrist to prevent her escape. “Calm down, Cloud. Think about your condition. And besides, isn’t it fine?”

“It’s not fine! Friend or not, I won't forgive him for corrupting my children!” At this point, Cloud’s furious eyes were laden with unshed tears as her hormones went out of control. “I’ll destroy him and his stupid planes!”

With an indulgent sigh, Sephiroth gently and effortlessly wrestled his pregnant not-wife (as she insisted in their not-marriage) onto his lap and encased her small form in his arms. As Cloud began to calm down, Sephiroth blinked as he recalled something, he turned to his son. “While I don’t particularly mind, are you sure you’ll be alright with marrying a boy?”

Riku gave a resolute nod. “Sora is Sora. Besides, it’ll be fine, right? After all, Mother was one before, right? I think the Goddess won’t mind turning Sora into a girl. If he stays a boy, I don’t really mind, either.”

Cloud sniffled in Sephiroth’s shoulder.

In another life, she gave birth to Riku once again. When Zack and Aerith told her that Sora was born a girl this time around, she didn’t know whether or not she should curse Minerva for meddling in their children’s lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> I know I said I was gonna post the alternate ending to the previous one, but this little plot bunny wouldn’t leave me alone so I decided to let it write itself out.
> 
> Plus, I know some of you requested to see how Cloud and Seph interacted when Cloud was pregnant, so this was a glimpse of that. And yes, Cloud is pregnant with Naminé in here.
> 
> Lol this was inspired by one of Samwise’s (also known as SSize or Ichimura Hitoshi) doujinshi. And yes, I totally ship Riku/Sora.
> 
> R&R! :D


	10. Eavesdropping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Angeal and Genesis eavesdrop on their favorite Puppy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII or Kingdom Hearts
> 
> Warnings: Possible OOC-ness; Angeal's brain turning into mush; slight crossover with KH
> 
> Un-Beta'd

Angeal and Genesis heard a commotion in one of the corridors of the ShinRa HQ. It sounded like Angeal's Puppy was arguing with someone. As they got closer, the voices grew louder and angrier. They were about to step in before it escalated, but what they heard froze them in their tracks.

"Next time, keep your kid away from mine!"

It was Zack's voice.

"I ain't doin' shit!" It sounded like that red-headed Turk. "It was your kid's fault anyway! And if anythin', its YOUR kid who shud be stayin' away from mine! My son got second degree burns!"

"It was self-defense!" Zack shouted back. "That wouldn't have happened if YOUR kid hadn't tried to burn mine to death!"

"He was depressed!" The Turk snarled. "You would've done the same thing if you thought your bestfriend had been murdered!"

"If your kid had more sense, he would've known that Sora didn't kill anybody! Let alone Rufus' kid! Axel KNEW those two were friends!"

 _The VP has a kid?_  Genesis mouthed to Angeal. Angeal shrugged, wide-eyed. They were both baffled and intrigued by the conversation.

"What's going on here?" It was the young ShinRa's voice.

Angeal and Genesis pressed themselves along the wall and leaned into the corner as if to hide while straining to hear the conversation. Angeal really didn't know why he and Genesis were acting like gossip-mongering paparazzi. Really, they were above this!

"Reno's blaming my kid for those burns Axel got when he tried to burn Sora to death!"

"...From that fight when Axel tried to 'avenge' my son?" Rufus questioned.

"He didn't know any better!" Reno defended.

Soon, Zack and the Turk were repeating their arguement. The ShinRa heir eventually ended their arguement with a few well placed threats involving some people named "Cloud," "Tifa," and "Aerith."

Though the two Firsts couldn't see the other two's reactions, they were pretty sure they heard some whimpers and groans at the Vice President's threat.

Just when they thought the two young men were finally pacified, another arguement cropped up. Angeal couldn't recall how it started, but next thing he knew, Zack was arguing again. Except this time, he was, to Angeal's horror, picking a fight with the Vice President.

"Get your kids away from Sora! All they do is cause trouble!" Angeal would have thought his student was shouting at the Turk again if it wasn't for the fact that it was the young ShinRa who replied. Angeal nearly groaned. His student was going to be in so much trouble!

"What are you talking about?" The young ShinRa drawled. "My children are well behaved. I can't believe  _you,_  of all people, have the gall to talk about troublesome children,  _Puppy._ "

Genesis would have gwaffed if it wasn't so undignified.

"'Well behaved'?! Your crazy daughter brainwashed my kid!" Zack cried in outrage. "Only Ventus is well behaved! And I bet the only reason he doesn't cause trouble is 'cause he's never around to begin with!"

"Namine was forced," Rufus retorted, his voice was starting to become rather heated. "She didn't have a choice. If you want to talk about psychotic children, why don't you look at your nephews?"

"But that's different, Boss," Reno interrupted. "They get psycho from daddy General."

Angeal and Genesis looked at each other.  _Are they talking about Sephiroth?_

"Yes," Rufus said wryly. "You'd think at least one would get something from their mother. Makes one wonder if the mother is just as mentally unstable as her children."

"Don't talk about my sister like that!" Zack shouted. "If anything, your family's insanity skipped her!"

"Since when did insanity run in my family?"

"Since forever! Your dad's insane, you're probably a sociopath, and all of your kids are psychotic! Out of all of Tifa's kids, only yours are crazy!"

"True that," said Reno.

"Look at Reno's kids," Zack said. "Lea and Axel were cool -up until he nearly killed Sora, but that was it! And Kairi's probably the most normal kid from them all."

"If you recall, those twins wreaked havoc quite a few times," Rufus drawled.

"Yeah, but that's 'cause they got that from Reno," Zack said it as if that was a legitimate expanation.

The eavesdropping Firsts didn't get it. But apparently the other two did.

"Oh yeah, I remember." The Turk chuckled." Teef kicked my ass whenever those two pranked people.

"How come she never kept  _you_  in line, Rufus?" Zack sounded curious.

"As if she could." The ShinRa heir huffed elegantly. "Reno's twins kept her rather busy."

"Is that why your kids take after you more?" Zack deadpanned.

"Perhaps."

It seemed as if the confrontation was over. Angeal let out a sigh of relief. He just hoped Zack wouldn't be in too much trouble from fighting with the Vice President and his Turk.

"So," Genesis drawled, glancing at Angeal from the corner of his eyes. "When did the Puppy gain his own litter of helions?"

At that, Angeal's thought process came to an abrupt halt.

"Wait… What…?"

"…My friend… Did you not hear him?"

"What? He, wait – what? WHAT?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah... I wrote this a long, long, long time ago. Back when I was still trying to figure out the pairings of the KH kids' parents lol. It's just been sitting in my cloud storage, collecting virtual dust so I decided to just post it for the lulz.
> 
> Namine, Ventus, and Roxas were originally Rufus' kids before I decided to dump them all on Cloud and Seph, haha. I didn't want to make an OC, so I had played with the idea of Tifa being their mother, making them the half-siblings of Lea, Axel, and Kairi.
> 
> So yeah... crack pairing :P But obviously, I changed my mind and stole all of Rufus' kids and dumped them on Cloudy lol
> 
> ...
> 
> ...
> 
> Oh, yeah! I finally uploaded the first chapter of my original story on my wordpress. If you wanna check it out, I'll PM you the link. It's a lot darker than my stuff here though, and written much more seriously.
> 
> Love y'all! R&R!


	11. Album

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Trinity bond over Sephiroth's captured memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII
> 
> Warnings: Mentions of Fem!Cloud; Young!Trinity; Trinity bonding; Pre!ZackMentorship; AU
> 
> UnBeta'd

"Hey, Seph," a young Genesis Rhapsodos began. "You said you came from a small town right? What's it like?"

Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis lounged in Sephiroth's apartment. It was he three young SOLDIERS's day off and they had decided to belatedly celebrate the New Year after the three prodigal SOLDIERS had returned from their respective missions.

"Rather than a town, it's more a backwater village," Sephiroth replied, munching on the food Angeal had made. If there was one thing he could count on in his infinite lives, it was Angeal's love for cooking.

"Where is it?" Angeal asked curiously, taking a sip of his tea.

"It's up in the mountains," Sephiroth answered. "It's called Neibelheim. Not many have heard of it."

Genesis furrowed his brows in confusion. "How did you get all the way to Midgar then? Wouldn't it have been expensive for a country boy to travel that far from home?"

"Normally, I guess. But I was a special case. My mother and father both worked for ShinRa, so I guess you could say I was born into the company, more than into the village itself."

"Well," Angeal blinked. "That explains a lot of things then - like how you were able to enter the SOLDIER program at such a young age."

Sephiroth nodded. Blinking as he remembered something, he got up from his seat and headed to one of his bookshelves. "I have a few pictures you can view," he said as he took out an album the size of a large binder.

Angeal and Genesis scooted closer to their friend as he gracefully plopped back down into his seat between them. Opening the the album, there were several pictures, new and old.

"These are my parents." Sephiroth pointed at an old faded photograph of a beautiful young woman smiling next to a handsome, tall, young man with short, dark hair.

The woman wore a long white lab coat, while the man next to her wore a fine-pressed suit. Although the woman bore a striking resemblance to Sephiroth, the two Banora natives could easily see the relation Sephiroth had with the man in the picture. Like Sephiroth, the man held himself confidently and stoically, only the gentle fondness in his eyes, as he looked down at his female companion, betrayed him. The fond look he gave the woman was uncannily reminiscent of the look Sephiroth bestowed on a rare few.

Angel and Genesis had received that same look several times whenever they did something sentimental for each other. But unlike the romantic love the man in the picture obviously held for the woman, Sephiroth viewed them as nothing more than dear friends.

"Oh, wow," Genesis admired. "I can definitely see the resemblance. Let me guess, although you clearly get your looks from your mother, you get your personality from your father, correct?"

"Correct," Sephiroth acknowledged.

"Where did you get your coloring, though?"

"My mother was a scientist," Sephiroth answered simply. "While pregnant with me, she continued on with her experiments, resulting in my coloration."

"Ah."

"That suit..." Angel trailed off thoughtfully. "Was he a Turk?"

"That is correct," Sephiroth replied. "He was Veld's partner, and had been assigned as my mother's bodyguard. Had Hojo not interfered, he would have become the Head of the Turks, rather than Veld."

Genesis and Angeal eyebrows raised in surprise.

"No wonder you're a prodigy," Angeal hummed.

"Brains from your mother, and brawn from your father," Genesis joked, inciting a chuckle to arise from the silver-haired teen.

"While, I wouldn't refute that, my father was very intelligent himself. My paternal grandfather was also a scientist and had mentored my mother until his untimely demise during an experiment-gone-wrong."

Angeal shook his head. "Nevertheless, it's still impressive."

"Thank you."

Turning the page, the trio found newer pictures littering the pages, depicting Sephiroth as a young child.

Genesis chuckled. "A cute little thing, weren't you? You'd never think this child would grow up to be a well-known SOLDIER. Hm? Who's this?" Genesis pointed to an enraged blonde child whose chubby cheeks the silver child had gleefully taken to stretching and pinching.

"You looked like you were having too much fun there," Angeal said, eyes full of mirth. "Were you bullying that poor child?"

"Of course." Sephiroth smiled in amusement. "Cloud has always been entertaining. We would get in fights all the time."

Genesis barked out a laugh. "I never took you for a troublemaker, Seph!"

As they turned the page again, there were more pictures of Sephiroth and the blonde child, clothes ruffled and pulling at each other's hair and clawing one another's faces. Although their clothes and positions changed with each picture, there were only two things that remained consistent. Sephiroth's face was perpetually amused and gleeful, while the blonde child that Sephiroth had dubbed "Cloud" always sported a look of absolute fury.

"As amusing as this is, I do have to wonder who took these pictures." Angel looked to Sephiroth in askance. "I can't believe that rather than breaking up the fight, they instead took pictures of two young children fighting."

Sephiroth waved him off. "Oh, they tried," Sephiroth said, trying to reassure his friend, "but in the end, they gave up since we would always end up roughhousing, and it never got too out of hand, to be honest. Mama always broke us up if it got too far."

"'Mama'?" Genesis blinked, taking a sip of his tea. He never took Sephiroth to call his mother such an affectionate name, but then again, one's parents were typically an exception, and before today, he had always thought his silver-haired friend was an obedient child growing up.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, my mother is my mother, but Mama is what my mother-in-law prefers I call her."

Genesis choked, having swallowed his beverage the wrong way. "M-'mother-in-law'?!"

"You're  _married?!_ " Angeal sputtered.

"Of course not. Yet, anyway, unfortunately," Sephiroth huffed, turning another page. He pointed a gloved finger at a picture of a blonde woman. "That's her. My mother-in-law, I mean."

In the picture was a kind-looking blonde woman, smiling at the camera as she crouched down, hugging a slightly-older Cloud who looked torn between smiling at the camera and pouting at having to wear a dress.

The homely feel of the image was ruined, however, by the surrounding pictures.

They were obviously taken right after the little family portrait. In one picture, Sephiroth had taken the young child by surprise with a harsh tug on her pigtail, with the mother-in-law looking at them with raised eyebrows and a hand cupping her cheek, eyes glowing with surprised amusement. The following pictures depicted the two children's resulting brawl, resulting in scratches, unkempt hair, and battered clothing.

"...You were kind of a bully, weren't you?" Genesis said wryly. "How surprising."

"And your victim was a little girl? For shame, Sephiroth." Angeal shook his head remorsefully.

"Mind you, we were the same age," Sephiroth deadpanned. "Did you  _just_  realize my Cloud was female?"

"To be honest, I wasn't sure. You were a feminine-looking child," Angeal replied easily. "I wasn't sure if your little playmate was actually female or just another feminine boy."

Genesis turned the page. Sephiroth and Cloud were older, but instead of another brawl, Cloud had her arms crossed, glaring balefully at the male beside her, while Sephiroth seemed content with smirking at her in a taunting manner, almost as if goading her into a fight.

Another picture held new faces. A young girl with dark hair and red eyes smiled prettily at the camera as she linked her arms with a blank-faced Cloud. A surprisingly familiar-looking young blond smirked at the camera, flanked by a red-head and an older, bald male.

Angel furrowed his brows. "Is that Rufus Shinra?"

"Yes."

"What's he doing over there? Why's he in the picture? And who are those guys?" Genesis questioned.

"He is my Cloud's cousin," Sephiroth answered. "The two beside him are his faithful dogs- ah, I mean, his Turks."

"Are you serious?" Genesis said incredulously.

"Well, I can see the family resemblance," Angeal admitted. "But aren't those two a bit young to be Turks?"

"I suppose, but regardless of their age, those two will be Turks, if they aren't already," Sephiroth said.

Another turned page revealed more pictures of Cloud and Sephiroth as the years passed. Occasionally, the dark haired girl with red eyes would make an appearance.

"Who's this one?" Angeal pointed at the new female. "She's been in some of the pictures so far."

"That is Tifa," Sephiroth supplied. "She's the mayor's daughter, my Cloud's childhood friend, and my cousin from my father's side."

"Eh? Really?" Flipping back to the picture of Sephiroth's parents, while using his right hand as a placeholder, Genesis glanced back and forth between the two pictures. "Oh, I can see the family resemblance now."

Like the girl, Sephiroth's father looked to be of Wutaian descent, sporting red eyes and dark hair. Unlike the the man's stoic face, the girl's was open and friendly, much like Sephiroth's mother. Had he not known any better, he would have thought the girl was Sephiroth's sister, taking after the father's looks and the mother's personality in contrast to Sephiroth's inheritance of his mother's face and his father's demeanor.

Flipping more pages of the album, the three young SOLDIERS saw Cloud and co. grow older as the years passed, and eventually, Sephiroth had disappeared from the pictures.

"Where were you?" Angeal asked. "You just disappeared."

"At that time, I had journeyed to Midgar, and Mama was kind enough to supply me more pictures of my Cloud as we corresponded."

"What's your relationship with this girl, anyway? This album's filled with her photos," Genesis said, casually flipping through the pages.

"She's mine," Sephiroth said simply.

Angeal leveled his silver-haired friend a blank stare. "Sephiroth, you can't just claim people like objects."

"She's mine," Sephiroth repeated. "She's my wife."

"I thought you said you weren't married," Genesis frowned in confusion.

"Technicalities," Sephiroth waved off. "We aren't married yet, but she is my wife."

Genesis and Angeal shared a look.

"So... your fiancée, then?" Angeal guessed.

"I suppose. But she just doesn't know it yet. Or rather, refuses to acknowledge it."

"So... not really your fiancée, then," Genesis said, looking at his friend pityingly. "One-sided, is it?"

"Of course not," Sephiroth scoffed, a bit offended. "My mother-in-law has already approved of our marriage."

"So... an arranged marriage, then..." Genesis contemplated. "Does this Cloud of yours know of this?"

"Of course not." Sephiroth gave them a strange look, as if confused. "Her reactions are the best when such news is suddenly sprung upon her. Why would I deprive myself of that face?"

Angeal rubbed his face tiredly, and Genesis let out a deep sigh. Sephiroth frowned in concern. He went to open his mouth to ask what was wrong, but Genesis waved him off, reassuring him that they were fine. "Just a bit tired, is all."

Turning the pages once more, in hopes of a distraction, Genesis and Angeal stumbled upon a picture of a man with piercing red eyes, pale skin, and long black hair, cloaked in red. He stood next to a teenaged Cloud and Tifa.

"Who is this?"

"Hm? Oh, don't you recognize him? That's my father."

"WHAT?! He hasn't aged a day!" Genesis sputtered, flipping back between the old faded picture and the newer one. Indeed, the man hadn't aged one bit. Aside from the new hairstyle and difference in clothing, the man looked exactly the same, if a bit paler. Though, with the long hair, he and Sephiroth looked more alike than before.

"Of course he has. Don't you see how long his hair has grown?"

"I don't think that's what he meant, Seph," Angeal sighed. "But I guess that myth about Wutaians not aging is true."

Sephiroth gave a nonchalant shrug. "I don't see what the problem is. I mean, my mother still looks exactly the same as she does in that old picture." But that could have been the result of being trapped in a self-imposed prison composed of mako crystals. Then again, it could have also been the byproduct of Jenova cells in her system.

"... You have some really terrifying genes, don't you?"

"Oh?" Sephiroth hummed, an amused glint appearing in his eyes. "You think so?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years!
> 
> This may or may not be the same album from chapter 3 of Extras. And to be honest, I'm not quite sure whether or not Seph was genuinely being socially inept, or if he was trolling Angeal and Genesis lol.


	12. Instructor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zack thinks Cloud should look into switching careers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VII or Kingdom Hearts. Also, none of the contents in this story is meant to depict any actual or realistic experience in a real military boot camp or training facility.  
>  **Warning:** Fem!Cloud; OOCness; A few misunderstandings here and there; Slightly heavy use of US Navy vocabulary (because the whole First Class, Second Class, Third Class thing just screamed “Petty Officer First Class, etc. to me)  
>  …  
> Might wanna write these down to refer to just in case:  
>  **5.0** = the highest score you can get on an exam.  
>  **ASMO** = Assignment Memorandum Order; basically a reassignment of barracks/division/station/etc.  
>  **A beating** = slang for IT  
>  **IT** = Intense Training; basically, PT but harder, more intense, and is often used as a punishment for recruits – sometimes, RDCs will IT/beat a recruit until they pass out or throw up (hahaha…haha…ha…fun times)  
>  **Galley** = cafeteria; against the rules to talk in here except to the kitchen staff when grabbing chow (food)  
>  **Head** = bathroom (weird, I know)  
>  **“I ain’t no ‘Sir.’ I work for a living.”** = Basically, Commissioned Officers are addressed as either “Ma’am” or “Sir” while Enlisted personnel are addressed by their title. Enlisted personnel tend to get offended when addressed as “Ma’am” or “Sir” despite the fact that Commissioned Officers are of higher paygrade because they tend to view Commissioned Officers to be little more than civilians wearing rank. However, Enlisted personnel who make the switch to becoming a Commissioned Officer gets respect because they have “real” military experience. (Ma’am and Sir are also used incase a person’s paygrade is unclear/unknown so Enlisted Personnel usually forgive this (unless they’re being an asshole) and will correct the speaker by telling them their rate [aka: title. i.e. Chief, Petty Officer, etc.] Also used to address civilians)  
>  **PT** = Physical Training  
>  **P-way** = passage way/hallway; not allowed to talk here either (basically you can’t talk anywhere except for in the barracks or unless spoken to by an RDC or other military personnel)  
>  **Rack** = bunk bed  
>  **RDC** = Recruit Division Commander; Enlisted personnel that is in charge of a Division’s training

The classroom buzzed with noise. Various young men waited in anticipation for the class to start. Today, they would be learning how to summon and use Materia. It would be the first class they would have involving combat, and during their stay, it would be something completely different from their boring routine of PT and drill. Not only would they be learning something entirely new, but rumor had it that Commander Genesis Rhapsodos of the Golden Trinity would be teaching the class.

The recruits fidgeted in their seats, eagerly waiting to catch a glimpse of the famous man. Many fiddled with their uniforms, trying to make sure it was on spot, in hopes of making a good first impression, and perhaps maybe landing an apprenticeship like how the notable Zachary Fair did.

The door slowly opened and many a recruit sat up at attention, with some breaking military bearing to crane their necks to see who had entered. Alas, they spotted a mop of spikey blonde hair instead of the much anticipated auburn red.

It was a woman.

She carried a strange-looking broadsword on her back and carried herself in a confident manner. Her arms were bare and defined with obvious muscle tone, yet her delicate face and slender frame didn’t look as though she could do much damage. Still, it was obvious that she must have had quite a bit of strength to be able to carry such a heavy weight around so effortlessly.

She glanced around the room, face blank and apathetic. She observed them in silence, and a few swallowed harshly under her mako-bright gaze. It was as if she was judging them – mentally cataloging the recruits before her to decide if they were worthy. Of what, they didn’t know.

She closed her eyes and gave a sigh. “My name is Cloud Strife,” she announced, looking around the room, catching every eye. “And I will be your instructor for today.”

There was a stunned silence.

“Wait,” a brave young soul blurted out. Many of them despaired and wished they could stuff his mouth. Hadn’t he learned by now that running his mouth or speaking without permission would get him – or even more likely, the whole division – IT’ed? They just ran drills earlier and now the moron would get them punished with even more training! “I thought Commander Rhapsodos would be teaching us!”

They couldn’t help but close their eyes in consternation. Neither could they help the aggrieved sighs that escaped them.

Ma’am – they didn’t know what her official title was – turned to face the speaker and gave him a look suggesting she thought he was slow. “Why would a man like him bother teaching a bunch of ignorant upstarts like you?”

The guy sputtered and turned rather flushed. Seeing how Ma’am hadn’t immediately ripped them a new one or IT’ed any of them on the spot, some began to murmur – some in agreement and some with indignity.

The woman rubbed the bridge of her nose, eyebrows furrowed, and they were quick to shut up. “Genesis would only bother teaching an apprentice. A graduate – which, none of you are. And considering none of you even know the basic principles of using Materia, let alone have even graduated boot camp, Genesis would no doubt sooner lose his patience and decide to play ‘Dodge the Fireball’ with the President than give any of you the time of day.”

“Harsh words, Spikey,” a cheerful voice teased.

It was Zachary Fair, a well-known Second Class for his friendliness, honor, and work ethic. He was mostly famous for being the first graduate to land an apprenticeship under a member of the Golden Trinity, Commander Angeal Hewley. His friendly demeanor dislodged the tension in the room.

“But true,” Ma’am retorted, eyes half lidded, mouth pursed, and arms crossed. Her body language screamed, “unimpressed” but she suddenly had a much more relaxed air about her.

Second Class Fair let out a chuckle and shook his head as he approached Ma’am from the door. “Yeah, but you gotta be gentle sometimes, Spikey. They might be sensitive.”

Ma’am gave him an unaffected look, with which Second Class Fair returned with a cheery grin. They observed the interaction curiously. The two obviously knew each other, and knew each other well if their ability to communicate silently was any indication. Eventually, Ma’am gave a small, if somewhat mocking sigh, before gesturing towards them. “Go ahead.”

“Alright!” Second Class Fair turned his attention to the ear hustlers. “GOOD MORNING, RECRUITS!”

“GOOD MORNING, SIR,” they boomed.

“’Sir’?” The Second Class squawked indignantly. “I actually work for a living, you know! I’m a Second Class!”

The recruits fidgeted in their seats, looking rather confused and terrified, wondering what he was going to do for their mess-up. The last time they greeted an RDC incorrectly, they’d been beat in the middle of a P-way. They sat nervously under his offended gaze.

“Haha, syke!” The man grinned. “Gotcha’ there, didn’t I? Don’t worry, I don’t really care what you call me so you guys can call me ‘Zack’ or ‘Fair’ or whatever. I know Spikey here doesn’t really care for titles either – but don’t go callin’ her ‘Spikey’! Only I can do that!

“Anyway, I just came by to see the newest Baby Div, and see how you guys have been doing. I know some moron spread the rumor about Gen teaching or whatever, but trust me,” he gave them a look, “you guys are lucky it was just a stupid rumor. You do _not_ want that man to be your instructor.”

Fair’s eyes glazed over for a bit as if remembering some distant memory, before shivering and turning blue in the face.

They were confused, but decided to take the man’s word for it. After all, they had heard the rumors of the Crimson General’s awful temper.

“But don’t worry, guys,” Fair grinned. “You’ll have Spikey here as your instructor instead! She’ll take care of you. Don’t underestimate her, though. She knows what she’s doing and can really pack a punch.”

They eyed the blonde woman warily. They didn’t doubt his words. The strange-looking broadsword on her back spoke as a testament of her strength. They didn’t miss the mako glow in her eyes, either. To be a female SOLDIER – they had never even heard of such a thing; why hadn’t they even heard of her before? – was already a strong indicator of her experience.

Soon enough, Fair gave their instructor a victorious grin, before leaving the room and subjecting them to the tender mercy of their much, much more uncongenial superior.

* * *

By time Zack came back to check up on the new recruits, the class was over, and Cloud was staring apathetically at the exhausted bodies that littered the floor.

“So how’d it go?” he asked.

Cloud gave him a bland look. “It was pathetic.”

The man winced. “Ouch! That bad?”

“It’s a good thing that rumor you mentioned was false, otherwise Rhapsodos would have lost his mind.” Cloud shook her head. “They do have potential, though. I’ll give them that much.”

* * *

The class never saw Ma’am again after their disastrous first lesson, and they had quite a few mixed feelings about it. They had another instructor the following day, but he couldn’t teach to save his life. At least they had learned something with Ma’am, despite how frightening and intimidating she was. When Fair popped in on them again one day, he was immediately asked if the female instructor was ever going to teach them again.

“Hmm, probably not,” was Second Class Fair’s answer, much to their disappointment. “But hey,” he proposed, “if you guys can 5.0 your Materia exam, I’ll see if I can get her to come in for you.” The class perked up and they could feel their excitement bubbling over. “No promises though,” he warned.

It didn’t matter to them. Their current instructor was uninteresting, unengaging. His voice droned on and on in monotony and it was difficult to even pretend to pay attention in class when all the man would talk about was the textbook.

When Ma’am had them that one day, she hadn’t droned on about theory or made them sit in their desks. No, she had them handle the Materia and had worked them long and hard, beating them into the ground.They had learned a lot from her in that short amount of time and many had felt that the only reason they were even getting by in material class was because of that one lesson they had with Ma’am Strife, for they could never understand a word of what their current instructor tried to teach.

The Division took the Second Class’ words to heart and began to study. They brought their textbook everywhere, even during chow and PT, reading it whenever they had the time. They read it in the P-way, the galley, the Drill Hall, the barracks, and even in the heads. They studied as they waited in line for food, as they ate, as they waited for their turn to go through the obstacle courses, and as they waited for their other classes to begin.

If anyone had given them strange looks for it, they didn’t notice. When the other divisions caught on to their newfound habit and begin to adopt it, they didn’t think much of it. If mouths began flapping and new rumors began to circulate regarding Division 344, they didn’t notice. And if those rumors just so happened to leave the Academy and reach the SOLDIERs, well… They knew nothing of it, too caught up in their own world. 

* * *

“Hey Zack!” Kunsel greeted his friend, setting down his tray of food on the table.

Zack grinned up at the helmeted SOLDIER. “What’s up, man?”

“Did’ja hear? Something weird’s going on at the Academy.”

“Oh?” Zack perked up, curious.

“This one division’s been going crazy with their Materia text, apparently. They’ve been taking it everywhere, and when I say, ‘everywhere,’ I mean _everywhere._ ”

Zack blinked. “Like, even to the galley?”

“Yep. And in the P-ways, and the heads, and to their other classes, and to PT, and to Drill. _Everywhere._ ”

“Woah. What division?”

“344, I think.”

“Wow… That’s some motivation to 5.0 that exam, huh?

“Right? I wonder if Commander Rhapsodos has heard anything about them yet,” Kunsel mused. “A division filled with Materia-obsessed recruits? I bet he’d have a field day.”

* * *

The days passed and the exam was slowly creeping around the corner. The males of 344 were excited, confident that they would 5.0 the exam. They had been taking every opportunity to study, even quizzing one another during class spars or while they laid in their racks, trying to go to sleep. Sometimes, they quietly went popping a random test question as they ate, careful not to let their RDC hear – they weren’t supposed to talk in the galley, after all.

Division 344 was sure they were going to ace the exam. That is, until they got a new recruit. Their newest member had gotten set back in training for repeatedly failing his exams, and the instructors had ASMO’d the guy into their division for whatever reason.

Once they learned about the ASMO-in, they had panicked at the thought of getting anything other than a 5.0 on the exam. As soon as the new guy had moved into the barracks, the division had split up into groups. One group took the stuff from the new recruit and began to unpack and make his rack. Another group ushered him away and held him still as another group began to teach and quiz him on Materia.

Soon enough, the new recruit’s rack was made and the group responsible for it joined in on the impromptu study session. Eventually, within the next hour, the ASMO-in had enough knowledge to at least pass the minimum score of 3.2. They continued to help him catch up as the days passed, and it was almost too soon for the exam to roll around.

When time finally came, they took the exam, answering the questions with ease while hoping and praying that their new teammate would ace it. After the test, the division went about their day, eagerly anticipating for the results of their divisional score. They wouldn’t receive it until the following day.

The next morning, they sat in their seats, waiting for their Materia instructor to come in and read their score. To their pleasant surprise, it was Second Class Fair who come in instead.

“Good morning, recruits!” he grinned.

“GOOD MORNING, SIR!”

The Second Class huffed teasingly and grinned. “I work for a living, you know. I ain’t no ‘Sir.’”

The division laughed, and a recruit jokingly replied with an, “aye-aye, Sir!”

“Now,” Fair started, once the laughter had died down. “I’ve got your scores right here,” he revealed, waiving a piece of paper around. “You guys did pretty good, you know. Way better than I did as a recruit, for sure! All that crazy studying did you guys some good.”

“You saw us?” One of them asked.

“Psh, saw you? Heck no! But your crazy ways eventually reached my ears up in the SOLDIER’s barracks.”

They flushed, drawing out a barking laugh from the friendly SOLDIER.

“Hey, no worries, guys! It just shows your motivation! I wouldn’t be surprised if Gen came down to see you guys himself, either. Word might’ve reached him that an entire division of new recruits were obsessing over Materia and had gotten a divisional score of 4.9 on their exam.”

Another one of them cried out their collective despair. “A 4.9?”

“Yep! Man, you guys were so close, too!” He squinted at the paper. “All these 5.0s are ridiculous! Only one person didn’t ace the test, but they still got a good score –” they all knew who it was “– and considering he was the new guy, it’s still pretty good! You guys really did a good job helping your teammate out,” Fair praised.

Regardless of his kind words, their faces were downcast, disappointed. At least the new guy had the decency to look apologetic in the face of it all.

“Well,” Fair began, a considering look on his face. “I said I was going to get Spikey to come down for a class if you guys 5.0ed the exam, but, since you guys did so well…” he paused teasingly. Eager faces leaned forward as if in doing so, they would be able to read his mind. “I _just_ might tell Spikey all about how her cute little students want to see her again.”

Their necks flushed and their ears burned and the Second Class busted out laughing, bidding them a sloppy farewell, all whilst sporting a matching red face and shaking shoulders.

* * *

Angeal blinked at the sight of his rather disheveled apprentice. His face was red and his already messy hair askew. He looked like he had just managed to reintroduce oxygen into his lungs.

“What’s wrong?” The First Class asked in concern.

“Oh, nothing.” Zack waved nonchalantly, wiping a tear from his eye. “That Baby Div though, is just too cute.”

“…’cute’?”

“Yeah,” Zack grinned. “You know, 344?”

“Ah… The Materia-crazy division everyone’s been talking about?”

“Yeah! Turns out they really wanted that 5.0,” he snickered.

Angeal blinked uncomprehendingly. He felt like he was missing something.

“So,” Zack continued, “you remember how that Materia instructor called in sick a while ago, and how they needed a fill-in but Gen didn’t want to?”

“Yes,” Angeal acquiesced.

“Well, they needed a quick replacement, right?” Zack rambled, not waiting for a reply. “So, my sister was in town –”

“You have a sister?” Angeal interrupted.

“Yep! Oh, did I not tell you I had one? I thought I did, but– anyway, she was in town, and Reno–”

“The Turk?”

“Yeah. Reno told Rufus about it–”

“The _Vice-President?!_ ”

“Yes!” Zack sighed, as if it was self-explanatory. “ _Anyway,_ he thought that since they needed a quick replacement, that making her do it would be a good idea.”

Angeal furrowed his brows in consternation. “So your sister ended up being the substitute?”

Zack nodded.

“Wait– how do they even know each other?” Angeal eyed his student with perplexity. “You’re not that close to the Vice-President...”

“Oh, they’ve always known one another. “Zack shrugged, blasé. “Being cousins and all, you know?” He continued before Angeal could get another word in. “ _Anyway,_ Spikey – my sister. That’s not her real name, by the way. It’s just what I call her. So Spikey subbed in, beat the ever-loving crap out of them, and somehow won their devotion – which, _weird!_ Didn’t think they’d be into that sorta thing, if you know what I mean.

“Well, long story short, she didn’t come back after that and the next time I saw that division again, I told them that if they 5.0ed their Materia exam, I’d try and get Spikey to come back and meet her fans.”

“Oh?” Angeal’s eyebrows rose. “What did they end up getting?”

“A 4.9,” the Second Class grinned. “Everyone, aside from the new guy, got a 5.0. The ASMO-in got like a 4.7 or something.”

“So if it weren’t for the ASMO, they would’ve received a perfect score? That’s still pretty good. Usually divisions get a 4.2 average, if I remember correctly.”

“Yep. And check it out,” Zack leaned in conspicuously. “That ASMO was a guy who apparently kept failing his tests. The instructors supposedly ASMOed him into 344 because they hoped their method of crazy would rub off on him. And it did! They got a guy who couldn’t even make a 3.2 on his exams, to making a 4.8 – 4.7 in less than three days. Isn’t that crazy?!”

Angeal blinked. “Well, yes. Yes, it is.”

“Anyway, since they did so well, I told them I’d give Spikey a call and let her know that her cute little students are waiting impatiently for her.” Zack cackled. “Man, you should have seen their faces! I didn’t know people could turn that red!”

Angeal shook his head in both amusement and exasperation. “Did you call her yet?”

“Nah, but I will later.”

“You know 344’s caught Genesis’ attention, right?”

The young man blinked and shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, I thought it would happen sooner or later.”

The First Class smiled wryly. “So you know it’s going to be your fault for unleashing him onto those poor kids, right?”

“…Oops?”

“Right. ‘Oops.’”

* * *

Division 344 was excited, anxious, even. Despite not getting a perfect divisional score on their exam, they had impressed Fair enough that he would contact Ma’am Strife for them, regardless. They waited eagerly, always anxious to go to Materia class for once. But alas, the same old, boring instructor greeted them every single day without fail.

One day, however, they were in for a surprise.

“Good morning, recruits,” the instructor greeted.

They replied dutifully with a “good morning, Sir.”

“Today, I have some news for all of you,” he announced.

Their ears perked up. _Was today the day?_

“We’ll be having a special guest join us, today.” _Yes! It was!_ “They’ll be observing you throughout the lesson. It appears you lot have somehow managed to gain their interest.” _YES!_

Division 344 mentally cheered. They knew Second Class Fair wasn’t going to disappoint!

“Just make sure you keep your military bearing at all times,” he reminded them. “Now, on with the lesson…”

The lesson continued as it always did – all theory again and no practical applications. They sat at attention, dearly hoping to impress their invisible guest. With all the extra studying they had done to prepare for the exam, they had accidentally covered the topics they were to learn in the future. It was a good thing they did, too, for the instructor still couldn’t teach to save his life and their attention was wavering, trying in vain to inconspicuously search for Ma’am in their peripheral, despite knowing that she was most-likely to be observing them through the one-way mirror at the back.

At the end of class, their boring instructor announced that they would be doing practical applications the following morning. The rest of the day passed by as usual, with the exception of the new warnings their other instructors had given them about being on their best behavior for their invisible shadow.

The next day was the same, but Materia applications was a whole new turn. They had only handled live Materia once, and that was during their first Materia class will Ma’am.

They held the orbs cautiously, glancing around for a glimpse of their shadow. They hoped to impress Ma’am Strife with their performance today to prove that they were worth her time. They had figured that they had made a terrible first impression that first day and had made her decide to cast them off onto their current instructor. If they impressed her today, maybe she would change her mind and take them back.

They all took deep breaths, trying to calm their nerves. As they took turns activating the Materia, they fished around in their memory of that day, trying to remember the female SOLDIER’s teachings on how to hold, activate, aim, fire, and deactivate the orbs, completely disregarding their current instructor’s useless and contradictory instructions.

The stupid man had puffed up in pride, to 344’s abhorrence, as if _he_ was the cause of their success. While they had discovered a long time ago that Ma’am’s words were to be trusted, and his were to be discarded, the newest recruit had learned not to listen to the useless teacher, knowing that, for some reason, his teammates all knew what they were talking about in terms of Materia. They had once tried to follow the man’s instructions, only to get nearly blown up by their Materia. Other times, his methods didn’t even work at all.

By the end of the lesson, all the Materia were properly stowed, the targets obliterated, and the recruits were free to go.

* * *

“So, Angeal began. “How was it?”

“They were better than I expected,” Genesis replied. “They seem to all have a gift for Materia.”

“That’s good.” The brunet smiled.

“Though, their instructor was absolutely horrendous. He had no clue what on Gaia he was talking about. I honestly have no idea how they all performed so well after having _him_ as a poor excuse of an instructor,” Genesis sniffed in disdain. “’ _Endless in mystery, is the Gift of the Goddess.’”_

“I take it they performed well enough?”

“Good enough to hold my attention,” Genesis hummed. “All of the targets were obliterated by the end.”

Angeal blinked in surprise. “Oh, really?”

The Crimson General nodded. “No one but the so-called ‘instructor’ seemed to even break a sweat. Apparently, these kids have never even held Materia prior to joining.” Genesis turned to his childhood friend, a fire burning in his eyes. “Do you know what this means?”

“No,” Angeal replied, slowly, carefully. “What?”

“It means,” Genesis purred, “I have an entire division to choose from! Maybe I’ll end up with more than one!”

Angeal watched, bemused, as his friend excitedly began to argue and debate with himself.

“No, more than one would be a hassle – but, maybe– No! Wait– Hmm…”

Absently, Angeal thought his student had unleashed a beast onto the poor division. The poor soul who Genesis would pick as an apprentice had Angeal’s sympathy. Genesis was never the most patient, or the one with the best temper.

“You know what, ‘Geal?” Genesis huffed. It looked like he had already decided.

“Yes?”

“I think I’ll just take the whole division instead.”

The honorable First closed his eyes and prayed for Minerva to have mercy on those poor, unfortunate souls.

* * *

Zack fiddled with his PHS, scrolling through his list of contacts.

“Oh, come on,” Zack griped. “Where is it?”

For the life of him, the usually boisterous SOLDIER couldn’t find the number he was looking for. He had dialed the last saved number he had of Cloud’s but it was out of service. She had changed her number. Again. So there he was, trying to scroll through his list of PHS numbers, trying to figure out which ones he’d already tried and which ones he hadn’t.

“Come on, pick up. Pick up!”

_rrrrrrring, rrrrrrring, rrrrrrring…_

_“The number you hav–”_

“Arrghh! Dammit, Spikey! Why don’t you ever give me the heads up?!”

He tried another number. And another, and another, only to get the same result.

_Rrrrrrring, rrrrrrring…click._

_“Hello?”_

“Spikey!” Zack cried in relief.

_“Yes?”_

“You finally picked up!” He huffed. “Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get a hold of you?! What if something happened? What if you got attacked? Or – or hurt! Or jumped?! Or killed?! Or – or… Or worse!”

_“… Zack, I’m fine. You should know I can take care of myself.”_

“Yeah, but!”

 _“And besides, what if That Bastard read it on your PHS? Anyway, I gave it to Aerith. I figured_ _you’d call her to get my new number. You know, since that’s what I always do.”_

Zack blinked. “Ehehe… oops?”

There was a sigh on the other line. _“You forgot, didn’t you?”_

He grinned sheepishly at his PHS, forgetting she wouldn’t be able to see it. “Ehehehe…”

 _“Of course you did.”_ Cloud’s voice sounded amused, exasperated, but amused nonetheless.

“Oh! Oh!” Zack bounced. “Never mind that! Guess what!”

_“One of Hojo’s experiment’s finally murdered him?”_

“What? No!”

_“Oh, then what?”_

“You know those kids you taught that one day when you subbed in for the old fart?”

_“Yes.”_

“Well, they’ve been really eager to have you teach them again.”

_“Oh? Is that right?”_

“Yep. I told them that if they aced their Materia exam, I’d ask you to come down and see them, and they took that and carried their Materia text everywhere! And when I say ‘everywhere,’ I mean _everywhere._ ”

_“…Everywhere?”_

“Yep.”

_“Even to the galley?”_

“Yep. And the P-way, and the Drill Hall, and to PT, and even to the heads, apparently.”

_“Huh…”_

“So, will you come? You know they worked hard.”

_“Hmm… I’ll think about it.”_

“Awesome!”

_“No promises.”_

“None!” Zack grinned. “So, how are the little munchkins?”

_“They’ve been behaving. I got called into the school’s office the other day, though.”_

Zack frowned. “Oh? What happened?”

_“Naminé sang her fellow classmates a lullaby during nap-time because she didn’t feel sleepy.”_

“Well, what’s wrong with that?”

 _“The song. She learned it from one of the games Reeve sent the boys. I destroyed it and sent_ _back the pieces. The boys were upset, but they shouldn’t have allowed their younger siblings_ _near it anyway.”_

“Oh, the poor kids…”

 _“I warned them if something like that happened again, they would never be able to play with_ _Reeve’s toys ever again.”_

“I take it they didn’t like that?”

 _“Of course not. But they’re lucky I didn’t destroy all of it in the first place. I only got rid of that_ _one game Naminé got the song from.”_

“What was the song?”

_“I don’t know. Something about ways to kill a drunken sailor or something.”_

“Oh… Yeah, I see how that’d be a problem.”

_“Yes… Did you need anything else, Zack?”_

“Nope.”

_“Alright… let me know when That Bastard is out.”_

“Hehe, yup! You got it!”

_Click. Beeeep, beeeep, beee–_

After hanging up, Zack took a deep breath and started doing a little cheer around his apartment.

“What’s got you so happy?”

Zack turned to find it was his mentor at the door. He beamed. “My sister’s gonna be coming over!”

Angeal gave a nod. “That’s good,” he agreed, entering the apartment. “You know you’ve unleashed a monster onto those poor recruits, right?”

Zack paused. He was pretty sure that Angeal wasn’t familiar with Cloud, so he didn’t think the older man was talking about her. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you see… Genesis shadowed 344 and saw how they performed in their classes. He paid special attention during their Materia session and decided they were worth his time.”

“Oh.”

“And he argued with himself for a while before he finally decided that he wouldn’t be taking an apprentice.”

“Oh…” Zack blinked. He didn’t really know where Angeal was going with this anymore. “Okay…?”

“Rather than having one student…” Angeal looked Zack dead in the eye. “He decided he’d take the whole division instead.”

“Oh.” Zack repeated, dumbfounded, “Oh… OH! Oh, no!”

“Oh, yes. ”Angeal nodded gravely. “Do you see what you have done?”

Zack nodded, horrified. “What have I done? Oh my–! What have I _done?!_ ” He proceeded to have a mini breakdown, running wild around his apartment like a chocobo with its head cut off. “Angeal!” He wailed, “What do I do?!”

Angeal clasped his hands on the young man’s shoulders. “Nothing,” he intoned somberly. “There’s nothing we can do for them now.”

Zack whimpered.

_“It’s too late to save them.”_

* * *

Cloud hopped off of Fenrir and slipped her goggles atop her head. ShinRa HQ loomed over her small figure as if in an attempt to intimidate her.

She let out a quiet sigh, unable to believe she was even doing this. Zack had told her that her presence was being sorely missed – and for once, it wasn’t by Sephiroth. Her one-time students had made a deal with Zack in a strange attempt to get her to beat them all up again, which she thought was incredibly strange, but then again, ShinRa did enjoy hiring strange people.

Zack said they had worked hard, and Sephiroth was on a mission, so she figured she’d pop in and reward them with her presence, as they had wished. Their performance had been pathetic when she had initially taught them so she was curious to see how much they had improved. Maybe she’d see how they’d perform with a sword.

But first, she had a cousin to talk to.

* * *

 It was another day for division 344. They attended their classes as usual, with their shadow still on their tail. It had been a week since their unseen guest had decided to observe them, but they still hadn’t shown their face.

Did Ma’am still find them unworthy? She must have, for she still hadn’t appeared. But since she was still observing them from afar, she must have thought of them highly enough to still warrant her attention.

With that thought in mind, Division 344 did their best to impress. They studied whatever they could, wherever they could, whenever they could. They remembered the sword she carried on her back so effortlessly, so they turned their focus onto strength and conditioning, paying utmost attention to their combat instructors, and fine-tuned their swordplay as much as they could.

Too focused on increasing their knowledge and skill levels, they failed to notice much of anything outside of whatever held their immediate attention. As such, they failed to notice how their divisional score rose to the top, or how it spurred the other divisions into following their methods out of sheer competitive drive. They didn’t notice the strange looks of approval they received from the other instructors or the enormous bout of pride their Division Commander gained, and neither did they notice the sudden decrease of screaming they were subjected to by said Commander. Too busy sticking their noses into any textbook they had with them when not sparing, they didn’t notice the other divisions deciding to join in on the bandwagon driven by 344.

After another week of endless studying, Division 344 received a very pleasant surprise.

“Hello, boys.” It was Ma’am! She took her place in front of the class. “I see you’ve been working diligently.” She observed them with a cool gaze. “You’re at the top of your training group. I must say, I’m impressed.”

They preened with pride. All their hard work paid off!

“Ma’am,” a recruit stood up at attention. “Will you be training us again?”

She gave them a considering look, no doubt taking in the hopeful faces they tried to hide behind their military bearing. She let the silence drag on, and they could feel their nerves heighten at the thought of her rejection.

“Yes,” she finally answered. “I hope you don’t disappoint.”

“We won’t, Ma’am!” they boomed, unable to keep their silly grins off of their faces.

“Hmm… We’ll see.”

* * *

  _Rrrriiiing, rrriiiing, rrrrriiiing, rrrriin– Click._

_“Hello?”_

“Zack, it’s me.”

_“Spikey! How are ya? What’s up?”_

“I took another look at that group.”

_“Oh? You did? Weren’t they just adorable?”_

“… They’ve improved.”

 _“Psh! Of course they did! They’ve been working their butts off just to see you again you know!_ _Hahaha, it’s like you got your very own personal army of baby chocobos trailing after you! I_ _mean– not that you already don’t have your own chicks–”_

“Ugh. I thought you’d already out-grown all those chocobo jokes…”

_“As long as you’ve got hair, it’ll NEVER grow old!”_

A sigh. “Zack…”

_“Alright, alright… But seriously, ever thought about becoming a teacher?”_

“What do you think I’m doing, Zack?”

_“Yeah, I know, but I mean permanently. Not this subbing stint your doing now.”_

“No.”

_“Well, maybe you should.”_

“Hn. And have to deal with That Bastard everyday? No thanks.”

_“Aw, come on. You know he ain’t gonna come over all the time!”_

“…”

_“Well… He’ll be going on missions and stuff…”_

“… And when he’s free?”

_“…Uh…”_

“Exactly.”

_“Ehehe…Well, at least I tried…?”_

“Goodbye, Zack.”

_“Later, Spikey!”_

_Click._

* * *

 Cloud absentmindedly brushed her daughter’s hair as the little girl sat in her lap, happily swinging her small legs back and forth, a tune escaping the child’s lips.

“Isn’t it a pretty song, Mommy?” Naminé chirped.

“Mhmm,” Cloud hummed in agreement. “What song is that?”

“I don’t know,” the child piped. “It just popped in my head!” Suddenly, she turned to face her mother, looking at her with big blue eyes. “Mommy, will you ever take me with you to work? Kadaj and the others have gone but I never have.”

Cloud paused and looked at her daughter. “Hmm… That’s right, isn’t it?” Naminé nodded her little head vigorously. “Tell you what,” Cloud mused, running her fingers through her daughter’s blonde hair. “Why don’t you come join me tomorrow and meet my students?”

Naminé’s eyes grew wide. “You have an appren– appen–“

“’Apprentice’?”

“Yeah! That! You have one, Mommy?”

“Not quite. I’m just subbing in temporarily until their teacher comes back from leave.”

“Oh…” Naminé tilted her head. “Why did their teacher leave?”

“Not sure. I think he went to the doctor though.”

“Why?”

“I heard he played with fire or something.” Cloud shook her head. “So, do you want to go?”

Naminé’s big blue eyes sparkled, bouncing up and down on her mother’s lap, unable to contain her excitement. Cloud had to steady her to make sure she wouldn’t accidentally fall and hurt herself. “Yes, please! Yes!”

The older blonde eyed her child playfully. “Are you sure?” She teased, “You know that would mean you’d have to get up early tomorrow. It’s a long way to Midgar.”

“I will! I promise!”

“You sure?” She received another vigorous nod. “Hmm… Alright then. But if you don’t get up when I wake you, I’ll leave you behind.”

“I won’t fall back asleep, Mommy!”

“If you say so,” Cloud hummed. “You know,” she started, looking the little girl in the eye, “if you come with me, you’ll have to miss school. Will you be alright with that?”

Naminé scrunched up her small face in thought for a moment before nodding and making up her mind. “Yep!”

Cloud smiled down at her daughter. “Well then, I think it’s time for you to go to bed. You have a big day tomorrow.”

Naminé pouted before breaking out into a big smile. She hopped off of her mother’s lap, but not before giving her a big hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “Good night, Mommy!” She then proceeded to rush to her bed and snuggle under the covers.

“Good night,” Cloud repeated, giving the girl a kiss on the forehead. “Sleep tight.”

“I won’t let Jenova bite!”

* * *

The division waited anxiously for their instructor to come in. So far, Ma’am Strife had been their teacher for a few days, but that didn’t mean that she would be their instructor for good. The worry that she would dismiss them as a lost cause and toss them back to their old, useless instructor still lingered at the back of their minds.

When the door opened a sliver, they leaned forward, gripping the edge of their seats. A little blonde head poked itself through the tiny opening, observing them with curious eyes. They stared back in wonder. Being isolated within the ShinRa Acedemy’s walls, it had been a long time since they had seen a child. Before long, said child disappeared from view and the door closed.

A few minutes passed and the door soon reopened. Their spikey-haired teacher came into view with the little girl toddling after her.

“Good morning, recruits,” she greeted, turning to face them. They returned the greeting dutifully before she started up again. “As you can see, we’ll be having a guest with us today, so I expect you all to behave appropriately.” She gestured to the child. “This is Naminé.” The little girl shyly waved at them with a smile. “Naminé, this is 344.”

“Nice to meet you,” a recruit greeted from his seat at the back. He earned a bright smile from the little girl.

“It’s nice to meet you all!” Naminé chirped, apparently over her bout of bashfulness.

Once introductions were over, the little girl was sat in one of the empty desks, and class begun. The division was filled with both excited and nervous energy, ecstatic to find their teacher valued them enough to introduce them to someone they suspected was her daughter, yet nervous at the prospect of the child being another one of Ma’am’s hidden tests.

They didn’t know what the little girl’s purpose being there was for, but they didn’t ask. So they did what they thought was best: ignore the child’s presence and focus on their teacher, trying to absorb as much as they possibly could.

* * *

Naminé observed in wonder. Her mommy was so amazing! She was the youngest out of her – one, two, three, four, five... umm… oh! Six! – six brothers. What was the other word for brothers? Si– Sisters? No, that was wrong. Si...sib… Something.

She was the youngest.

She had always been so jealous when Mommy would take her big brothers with her on adventures, but she was always “too young” or something. But she was a big girl now! And now it was her turn! Take that, Riku! Hmph!

She had always heard stories about how amazing her mommy was. Kadaj was always bragging about how he was old enough to go on monster hunting adventures with Mommy and how he was able to see how strong Mommy was. Naminé of course, never doubted his words. Everyone always told her stories of Mommy’s adventures when she was younger. Daddy also loved to go on about how strong his Puppet – that was his ‘pet name’ for Mommy apparently – was whenever he wasn’t too busy at work to see them.

So yes, she _knew_ how great her Mommy was. _Everyone_ said so. It was a fact! But still, this was the first time she got to see it in person. Sure, she wasn’t fighting monsters or anything, but it was obvious that monster fighting wasn’t her only skill. She also had _minions_. Like Uncle Rufus! Daddy apparently also had them, but she wasn’t too sure about that. Because, wasn’t he always busy working for _other_ people? Wasn’t that why he was never home?

Probably.

Naminé didn’t think her daddy wanted to admit he was someone else’s minion. Auntie Tifa mentioned something about “male pride,” or whatever that was, once. Maybe that was it.

Still, Mommy had been away from home more often because of her minions. Naminé felt kind of jealous that her time and attention were being spent on these strangers. She already had to compete with her brothers. She didn’t need these people too! But, what did Mommy call them again? Re– something. Recuts? Regroup? Re… re… recruits…? Yeah! Recruits!

But, wait… weren’t those, like, people who are trying out for something? So… they weren’t really minions then. They were… _trying_ to become Mommy’s minions? Was that it?

Naminé frowned, scrunching up her small face. Dubiously, she took a good look at the strangers sitting beside her.

Was her mommy trying to find a minion then? Naminé huffed at the thought. She didn’t know why her mommy was going through all this trouble. If she wanted one, she should just make Daddy her minion. He was always following her around whenever he didn’t have minion-duties, anyway!

Then, the door opened.

She gasped. “Puppy!” Naminé left her seat to run up to the newcomer.

“Nami!” Puppy cheered, picking her up, and tossing her into the air. “How’ve you been, kiddo? Have you been a good girl? Not causing trouble in school, are you?”

Naminé pouted, still dangling in the air by her armpits. “I was only singing a song.”

Puppy squinted up at her, his glow-in-the-dark eyes shining as bright as ever. “Not a song to be singing in school though, right?”

“It was pretty,” she mumbled mulishly.

“It was about killing people,” Puppy deadpanned.

“It was still a pretty song…”

Puppy sighed and put her down, patting her head. “It’s okay, kid. Just try not to do it again, ‘kay? I swear, you look just like your mom, but I feel like you act more and more like your dad sometimes.”

Naminé pouted down at her shoes. She didn’t think Puppy would lecture her about it too! Daddy thought it was a nice song when she sang it to him.

“Did you want something, Zack?” Naminé looked up at her mommy. She had her arms folded with that you-better-have-a-good-explanation-for-this-or-you’ll-be-in-big-trouble look that she often gave to Naminé’s brothers when they did something dumb.

“Ah, right. Sorry to interrupt, but can I talk to you in private for a sec?”

And with that, the two adults left the room.

Naminé silently counted and a small frown pulled at her face. Honestly, she didn’t know how you could fit a conversation within such a short amount of time, but a second was already over. Puppy should have asked for more time if he needed more than a second! When the door finally opened again, she had already counted to ten more than five times.

Puppy grinned sheepishly at her. “Sorry about that kiddo. Took longer than I expected.”

Before she could respond, her mommy stole her attention. “Naminé, why don’t you go with your Uncle Zack for a bit? I know you must be bored here, so why don’t you go with him and play? I heard your Uncle Rufus has been really bored lately.”

Naminé hesitated and Puppy swooped in with an offer. “We can go explore! What do you say? Wanna find some secret passages? I’m sure Reno is up for a game of hide and seek!”

Her eyes brightened with excitement. “Okay!”

Her mommy let out a quiet laugh. She had a strange look in her eyes. “Apparently they think your brothers are terrible at playing games. They lose too easily. Why don’t you show them how much better girls are at playing, hmm?”

“Lots better!” Naminé vowed. “They’ll see!”

And after she gave her mommy a kiss on the cheek, Puppy placed her on his shoulders, and they were off.

* * *

Boy, Spikey sure knew how to hold a grudge. But setting Naminé to wreak havoc amongst the Turks _would_ make things livelier around HQ, he had to admit.

He made the trek over from the Academy to the main ShinRa building, ignoring the looks he got from his collegues. Zack was lucky Naminé took after her mother in coloring. If she’d taken after Sephiroth, there’d be no way he could walk around so casually with her on his shoulders. Everyone would freak out – and don’t get him started on the Science Department. At least her coloring would make people assume she was one of the ShinRa’s kid. Well, technically Spikey was a ShinRa too, but, whatever.

“Puppy?” the little girl called from above.

Zack glanced up. “Yeah, kiddo?”

“Do you know where Daddy is?” She sounded like she was thinking hard about something and he wondered if she was plotting.

“Nope, but your Uncle Rufus does! You can go wheedle it out of him when you see him,” he grinned.

“’Kay,” she sang.

“Did you wanna talk to him? It sounds like you’re planning something,” he joked.

“Did you know Mommy wants a minion?” She sounded frustrated.

He couldn’t help but let out a chuckle but thankfully, it didn’t seem like she noticed. “Really?”

“Uh-huh! I thought she wanted an appen– apre– appendix”

“You mean ‘apprentice’?” Honestly, little Nami was too cute.

“Yeah! That! But then she called them re– re–”

“’Recruits’?”

“Yeah! And aren’t those supposed to be people who want to be minions? Uncle Rufus’ minion said that’s what they were. ‘Wanna-be minions’!”

Zack laughed. He really couldn’t help it. “Yeah, okay. What about them?”

“Well, Daddy’s a minion, isn’t he?”

He choked. “Say what now?”

“Well, he must be! He’s always busy doing minion things for Uncle Lazzy,” she sniffed.

“Huh, okay.”

“Since he’s already a minion, and Mommy _wants_ a minion…” she trailed.

“Yeah?”

“Then Daddy should just become _Mommy’s_ minion instead!” She huffed, exasperated, “Duh!”

He _really_ couldn’t help it. He broke down laughing again. He had to make sure he was holding onto her legs firmly enough just in case she was dislodged from his shoulders. This kid was a riot!

“You know,” he warbled, freeing a hand to wipe away a tear, “when your mom was having you and your brothers, your dad always waited on her hand and foot.”

“Good,” she asserted imperiously. “He has experience! Honestly, I don’t see why Mommy has to look for someone else.”

“Well, your dad is your Uncle Lazard’s minion, remember?” he chortled.

“She can trade him for my brothers,” Naminé retorted. “Kadaj says he’s plenty strong now, but he should go with the others in case he does something dumb.”

Zack glanced up at the little girl sitting on his shoulders. He didn’t really know how to respond to her. Honestly, she and her siblings were something else all together. Hilarious and a riot was what they were. Her brothers already wreaked havoc by themselves – there was a reason, after all, that Spikey never brought her entire brood to one place at the same time, discounting their house, of course.

He wondered how much mischief they would get into if Spikey brought all of them to ShinRa HQ. It’d certainly liven up the place for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaannnd that’s all I wrote. But man, I didn’t expect it to be that long…  
> If you’re curious about the song Naminé got in trouble for, it was “Drunken Whaler” (but lets just replace ‘Whaler’ with ‘SOLDIER’ or something) from the game “Dishonored.”


End file.
